Monthly Archive for February, 2017

A Sound and Light Show

A Sound and Light ShowOn the day a birth-control clinic opened in Dhobi’s village, men and women from all over the area traveled many miles to attend.  Everyone was amazed as they stepped on the automatic door mats to see the doors swing open. Inside a Sound and Light Show illuminated the various methods of contraception in six dialects using life-sized models of people.  A full selection of new products bearing the names of prominent movie stars was available: Agni Diaphrams, Prakash Condoms.  The best-seller was a Hanuman Prophylactic that came with a full-color portrait of the Monkey God in one of his heroic poses.

A display table illustrated the prizes and incentive awards that everyone was eligible for.
Dhobi asked himself over and over again the big question, “Is a vasectomy worth a transistor radio set?”

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Special Treatment

Special TreatmentDhobi tried every medication sold in the local dispensary to get rid of itchy scalp:  Ayurvedic preparations, homeopathic concoctions, castor oil, linseed oil, mustard powder.  He tried yogic exercises such as standing on his head for ten minutes three times a day.  When his hair started to fall out he had a good excuse to visit the local herb doctor.  But even the doctor couldn’t stop that exasperating itch.
“Dandruff! It must be dandruff,” the doctor concluded, handing Dhobi yet another gooey cream rinse.
Dhobi dutifully took the bottle down to the river and bathed in the usual way, following up with applying the rinse to his hair.  It was so slimy, however, he had trouble rinsing the lotion out of his hair.  River silt clung to the strands.  He had to buy a large-toothed comb to ply his way through the mess.
Then Dhobi made a startling discovery.  Ambling down between the teeth of the comb was a large chunk of dandruff.  Dhobi looked closer.
“Ah-ha!” he exclaimed.  “Head lice!  I should have known.”
A special lice treatment was available in the bazaar.  For twenty-five paisa Dhobi could rent a monkey on a leash. The monkey meticulously picked through Dhobi’s scalp singling out the vermin and expertly popped them into his mouth.  With smacking lips, the monkey scrunched the lice between his teeth like pomegranate seeds, juice squirting all over.

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